Australians Have Too Many Parties

October 22, 2012



My Grandmother is always telling me that “Australians have too many parties”. She is British and therefore genetically predisposed to racism against us thieving convicts, as evidenced by her perennial rage over the “utter lack of British sports coverage on Australian TV”, “all your wretched politicians” and the fact that Australians are “altogether too casual”. […]

John Howard, Marcus Mumford and a bunch of Aussie douchebags..

October 19, 2012



Here’s a little something by yours truly that was published on The Punch today… love LK x K

The Magnificent Bastard

May 2, 2012


military cross

So I learned the other day that my paternal great grandfather was a WWI war hero.  A proper hero.  He won a Military Cross in 1918. After finding this out I floated on wings of pride to an ANZAC Day dawn service and relished that it held a whole new meaning for me.  I told […]

Posted in: Adventure, Real Stories

The Golden Rules of pooping at work

April 25, 2012



“There is etiquette to deuce-dropping in the workplace…” A few years ago a friend of mine started a band called ‘Thursday Bandit’ in honour of a mystery colleague who would routinely blast the Pinworm Cannon in the men’s lavatory and leave a floating souvenir. No matter how hard they tried, and despite the frightening regularity […]

So, you’re a twentysomething…

March 7, 2012


Port Hughes 09 (98)

So you’re an early twentysomething. Awesome; you must be really cool.  Congratulations.  Or, maybe you’re not cool.  It’s going to be pretty obvious to you either way. If you’re not cool don’t worry; your ever helpful early twentysomething colleagues have invented a social construct called a ‘The Hipster’ to legitimise your ill-fitting corduroys, ironic star […]

Posted in: Hard Truths

What kind of socially awkward are you?

January 18, 2012



Social Awkwardness and you The other night, a friend of mine decided it would be a good idea to show the following photo to some people she had never met before during a very civilised ‘get to know you’ dinner. When I asked her why, she said: “I don’t know what I was thinking.  I […]

Why your parents should pay your debts (and other financial retardations)

January 11, 2012



Confessions from my credit card I once bought an egg poacher instead of paying my phone bill… Have you ever been in debt?  Like stupid, self indulgent debt that you justified at the time but later came to regret? It’s ok, you can say.  Ain’t nobody here but you and your credit card bill… No? […]

Posted in: Hard Truths

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