30 days to a new you*

The Three Musketeers

All morning Callum has been emailing me lyrics from the Bryan Adams boy ballad ‘All For One’ – theme song of the classic 90s movie ‘Three Musketeers’ feat. pre-CSI Chris O’Donnell.

It also features Charlie Sheen before cocaine became part of his daily nutrition plan.

But these lyrics (and Callum singing them in the house all last night) are driving me nuts.  I want to punch his face.

Especially when it gets to the bridge:

“WE’VE GOT IT ALLLLL, IN OUR HEAAAAAAARTS”

Cue epic 90s guitar solo…

My ill will towards him has not been helped by the fact that in the car on the way to work this morning, he ate the homemade chocolate chip cookie I had put in a Tupperware on the centre console.

He already had several homemade chocolate chip cookies wrapped up in his bag for recess.  I had put mine in this tupperware.  He thought it was available for general consumption and helped himself.  Upon seeing the look on my face, he slowly but carefully put the half-eaten cookie back into the pot.

It doesn’t stop there.

Last night we got mad at each other over steamed cauliflower.  I wanted to eat it.  He thought I didn’t want it so he ate it.  Katie ended up with one measly floret.

He also ate all the chicken and chorizo stew I made earlier in the week.  To be fair he then felt bad and brought some home for me, but still…

I pity the fool who comes between me and food. 

Ironically, this comes off the back of a lovely Monday night double date with some short-but-interesting friends in which I distinctly remember saying:

‘Callum and I fortunate to have a pretty chilled and easy relationship.  We don’t argue much.’

And to be honest, we really don’t.

But lately we have been uncharacteristically gripey and snitchy and I’ve found myself punching him more than usual.

I’ve also been getting out of bed later and later, been weirdly emotional (I cried after watching ‘Julie and Julia’), bone tired, even more absent-minded, got several parking tickets (never happens**) and I fell out of bed last night.

Then it dawned on me:

Cal singing All For One is not the problem. Cal eating steamed vegetables and yummy stew is not the problem.  Julie and Julia is not the problem.  Callum apologised for (all) the food misunderstandings and is lovely.

I’m just exhausted and therefore morphing into a complete mentalist.

It’s been several years since I had a proper holiday.  One where I wasn’t rushing around, trekking through tropical jungles, fighting off leeches and Gibbon monkeys, getting married, watching other people get married, being on call for work, settling into a new job, flitting between hemispheres and entertaining.

But if we’re being honest, it’s not just that pace of my holidays that’s the problem; it’s the pace of my life. 

I’m now at a point where my adrenaline is so ramped that I find it very difficult to relax and do nothing.  Last night, despite being epically tired, I couldn’t even sit on the couch with a glass of wine; I had to get up and do something.

So I baked the cookies which Callum subsequently stole.  Pity. The. Fool.

Post bake, I did sit down and watch a movie with my friend Kirsten, but dozed off several times.  This is what happens these days when I stop.

So I figure so long as I keep going, I’ll be fine/always-have-a-pantry-stocked-with-delicious-baked-goods-which-my-husband-will-steal.

But again, Cal’s klepto ways are not the problem.

I fear I have lost the Sabbath from my life.  A day of rest.  A day to just be.  A day where nothing is required of me but to re-create.

So as of 4pm today I will begin 30 days of rest.  30 days where I do not have to work.  Contribute.  Clean.  Plan.  Manage.  Persuade. Serve. Sing.  Lead.  Cook. Write. Run. Problem-solve. Manage expectations.

This is my Sabbath re-calibration.

I will mostly sleep.  I will also eat.  Laugh.  Talk.  Enjoy beauty.  Enjoy sunshine (thank you European summer).  Be with dear friends.  Pray.  Read. Learn.  Shop.  Marvel. Try not to look like tourist so I don’t get robbed…

Then when I come home I will introduce and fiercely guard a Sabbath day.  Just one day out of seven to let my brain and my body have a moment.

Here are some lovely observations on Sabbath via my friend, Steph:

“Sabbath is a holy time where we feast, dance, play, have sex, sing, pray, laugh, tell stories, read, paint, walk, and watch creation in its fullness. Few people are willing to enter the Sabbath and sanctify it, to make it holy, because a full day of delight and joy is more than most people can bear in a lifetime, let alone a week…

Sabbath is not about time off or a break in routine. It is not a mini vacation to give us a respite so we are better prepared to go back to work. The Sabbath is far more than a diversion; it is meant to be an encounter with God’s delight.

– Sabbath, Dan Allendar

Yours deliriously,

LK

*New you = mostly a new me because I have 30 days of holidays and you don’t.  Get a Sabbath already!

**Frequently happens

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